I've been outside for too long

So I’m for real getting tattooed today. Its about time! I deserve it. I’ve been working really hard and want to get something not only to remember my brother, r.I.p. but also a symbol of the pain and patience I’ve had to endure these past years. A symbol of all the things I’ve learned that make me the man I am today. I want to feel this literal pain of needles on skin. I think it will make me feel better. Last few months have been a wake up call as it is. They’ve shown me that only you can rely on yourself and no one else. It doesn’t matter how much effort you put into caring about someone if they still love someone else. I’ve opened my eyes and realized the people that truly love me are right here in front of me. No sense in begging or beating a dead horse. The pain of physically getting tattooed will help me get over this even more. You have no idea how done I really am. I gave you as much as o had to give and now I will offer you absolutely nothing.